Saturdays in Firenze: A “How -To”

  1. Ze Ayre of Ze Dog
    Start by telling yourself you will never drink again. Then, revise that statement to say “I’m never drinking wineagain.” Head to a loungey bar that is conveniently a restaurant in the day time. Order a bloody mary. Make sure you have company. Drinking alone is always sad, but is especially frowned upon at 3pm. Discuss things like the depravity of the male species. Talk about how you’re going to start working out, but then eat the bread they bring out. Remind yourself that no one comes to Florence expecting to get skinnier. Accept that.
  2. People Watch. 
  3. Watch people as they pass, and judge them if you are so inclined. When you see a large group of people on Segways, feel good about yourself. No matter what you did Friday night, you probably weren’t as embarrassing as those people… right?
  4. Run Errands

    Visit a wine shop.  Pretend to know what you’re doing as you peruse the racks for marsala wine, but concede when the judgemental clerk offers to find it for you. Mumble things in Italian to try to fit in. Fail.  Nod appreciatively as the clerk tells you how fine marsala wine is for drinking, not just cooking. Poor timing since you’re never drinking wine again. Consider making another revision to that declaration.
  5.  Visit a Flea Market

    Go to the flea market 2 blocks down. Wonder why you don’t visit it more often. Peruse the chandeliers, old books, and random scarves. When you find out you can buy an orange scarf for one euro, buy it even if it’s kind of ugly. It’s only one euro!!
    Continue to wander around. Find something furry. Hanging. With paws..(!?!?!)

    Feel freaked out. Decide to pretend you didn’t see it.
    Spot a box of postcards. Realize they are other people’s post cards, complete with Italian messages, stamps,and postmarks. Wish you understood what they said. Wonder why you haven’t sent more postcards.

    Consider purchasing one of them, then realize how bizarre it would be to buy someone else’s memory. Think better of it; I mean, you already bought that 1 euro scarf. Let’s not get crazy.
  6. Cook Dinner

    Make the meal you order at every generic italian restaurant in the states, from scratch. Decide that although it isn’t perfect, it’s pretty damn good. Make a mental note to pour the marsala wine in more gradually next time, and maybe use more butter. Hope that your roommate isn’t lying about thinking your chicken marsala was good. Realize that perhaps eating wine sauce beats drinking wine, particularly in excess.
  7. Talk about how happy you are that you’re staying in tonight.
    but secretly wonder if a walk to the italiano bar down the street would be such a bad idea…
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2 thoughts on “Saturdays in Firenze: A “How -To”

  1. Pingback: Traffic Jams for Sunny Adventures « DaceyOrr

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